I Can’t Find My Way

 Have you ever needed to find your way? I mean you’re in a bad spot.   Everything about it is wrong. There is just too much pain, stress, sadness and despair.  But how? How do you find your way to a new place?  And by the way, this painful place you are in – it’s not by your choice. Not what you wanted. You just found yourself there. Maybe you woke up after 30 years of living in an emotionally abusive relationship and you just can’t do it anymore.  
Maybe your body betrayed you by getting sick, and an illness was the last thing you expected. Maybe your sweet babies grew up, took a wrong path, and shattered your heart in the process.   Maybe Death came and took, and you grieve. Now what do you do? How do you find your way?photo-1469243159284-ec62e27ddffd way 2

I was in such a place.  Really I am in such a place still because it is a process, this moving from a place that is not working to a better place. It takes time and it starts in small steps. No, it starts with a thought, a prayer.   At first all I could do was whisper a small prayer “Lord, I can’t find my way.”  Other days it was “Lord I don’t know the way. Show me.”  Many, many days such a prayer fell from my lips. “Lord I can’t find my way through this.” Months days and even years can go by and still you are lost. This, you say, is not the abundant life. Not by a long shot!  

Still in obedience to His word I would pray yet again. “Lord give me wisdom, show me what to do.” And He, in his faithfulness, did show me – is showing me.  But change did not take place until I was willing to let go.

You know, we hold it all so dear: this life, our loved ones, our dreams, our hopes. No! No we will not let them go! It is who we are, it is what we want, it is what we know, it is what is familiar and familiar is comfort for our souls, even if the familiarity is a pain, a hurt.  But … when we can whisper, “Okay, LORD, I will trust. I will trust You. I will love you more than the dream, the hope; the life I thought should be mine. I will let go. With shaking hands and tear stained face, I let go. You know better than me Lord. You have good for me. You are doing a work in me. I am weak, I am humbled, I am contrite before you.”

That’s when I started to see things I never saw before, about myself, about my loved ones, about my situation. My holding on so tight, too tight, kept us all from growing, from moving forward and onward to a better place.  There comes a time to not only pray but to act, move, believe and walk in faith. Yes, I know, dear one. It is a hard, scary thing to do. But I testify to you that He is good. He is the Faithful One. He will make beautiful out of the mess. I know because He is doing that for me. He is working the ugliness, bitterness, and hurt out of me. He is working the “I am helpless against life” mentality out of me, and He is replacing it with His strength, wisdom, discernment and power.  

Are things still broken around me? In me? Yes. But I am no longer a victim. Now I can love with a real love – not make believe. Not pretending everything is OK when it is not.  I can love the hurting without enabling.  I can speak truth with compassion and understanding. I can accept and embrace what I cannot change.  I not only stand, but I move forward – finding my way.


Time in Between

How odd it feels to suddenly be done. With parenting.  So much work!! So many years!! So much of myself poured out. So many hopes, dreams and fears for them, my little ones. And like a quiet summer’s day it all ends. They are grown and hopefully can parent themselves now, that is if I have done my job well. But the thing that haunts me is what I   have failed to teach them. The things I wanted them to know, things in my heart that I thought they would somehow just catch.  I am also haunted by the things I failed to protect them from although I tried so hard. Too hard bordering on being an overprotective parent.  Looking back I see the pitfalls all too clearly, but at the time and with what skills and knowledge I had acquired to that point in my life – well I did the best that I could. I am not saying I was a lousy parent but I am saying I missed some things.

And so here we are now. Time in between. That’s what I call it but you probably know it as the empty nest syndrome.  For those of you in it you will understand when I say to you that it is just weird. You not only have to deal with the letting go and the changing dynamics of the relationship with your now grow children but it is also a time that slaps you upside your head with the fact that, yeah you are getting older. Old maybe.  Certainly not young anymore. Now I don’t just know about time, I feel it. It is moving ever onward or rather winding down. We only have so much time allotted to us.  So you start asking questions. What do I do now? I see the struggles of the past and I want what is left of my future to be as good as it can be. What does that look like for me?  What do I want to do with the second half of my life? What brings me joy and fulfillment? What do I enjoy? I was told by a very wise counselor that it is a stage of our lives when we  start gathering information. Searching, rethinking and pondering.  As I am a Life Coach I have to say this is a great time to  work with a Coach to help you find answers to all these new questions.

So why do I call it time in between? It is the time between having your kids at home and when your children grow up get married and have kids so that you have grandkids!!


Why a Life Coach?

photo-1428604467652-115d9d71a7f1Why would someone need a Life Coach?  After all most people have drive, skills and ambitions. They know that they want good things out of this, the one and only life they get.  And they can do it. Right?

All by themselves.

Maybe, but all the big leaguers, they have coaches. Talented actors have acting coaches, football teams have coaches (a lot of them) why? Because they want to win! They know that a good coach will help them get from where they are to where they want to be, in the shortest amount of time.  That is what a Life Coach can do for you! A Life Coach can help you fully visualize your goal, create a written plan, give you tools to work with and keep you accountable until the goal is achieved.

May your life abound with all you hope and dream for.


Fear Can Stop You

You’re frozen. You can’t move, can’t take the next step. But … you want to. Oh how you want to. You want to do more, live more, be fully alive! Not just make it. Not just survive. You want to grow and expand and become more.  You want to give and love. You want to move past the pain, the hurt, the disappointments. In this grown up adult world you find yourself in – you want to fun more. You want the excitement, surprise, anticipation and play of your childhood back.  You can have it. It’s called the abundant life and you were born for it. In fact, it is promised to you. It is promised by one who cannot lie and who keeps His promises (each and every one of them) from the beginning of time until the completion of time. His faithful promise to you is this: “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly”. John 10:10  So while fear can stop you, it doesn’t have to. You don’t have to let it. I know fear. Fear and I have been in the ring many times. It  has had me so far down in the corner, so beaten and bruised that I thought I was done. But I was not finished because He held my hand. He gave me strength to push back. To push back hard! Because this is my life! My life! And  I will not live it in defeat and you don’t have to either.

Your life is timed

desertThis journey you are on called your life, is timed.  It had a beginning and it will have an ending. What do you want to do with yours? You only get one shot at it. What will your story be? Each of us have strengths we bring with us on the journey and each of us do, will or are facing obstacles that we will either overcome or succumb to. In my almost but not quite yet 50 years on this beautiful blue planet, I have been down some roads, ran into some roadblocks (some I put up myself) and have come to know that each day, the good and the bad, the hard and the ugly are gifts.  Its all part of the story. You have a say in your story. You don’t write it but you do get to edit it.  How will you respond to the hard? What choices will you make?  A good Life Coach will help you see the path you are on, define where you want to go,  work with you to establish your goals and walk with you, even holding your hand if necessary.  I don’t know about you but when I get to the end of my story I want to be able to say ” That was my story, I lived it, I had a say in it, I loved well in it, I am pleased with it”.